Friday, September 23, 2005

A glossy black acquisition

G'day all!

TGIF. Hooray for Friday, even though I had a very short working week - only two days.

What is glossy and black and makes music when you lift its lid and hit its keys?

Answer:

Do you like my spinning wheel reflected in its glossy blackness?

Today Nathan's parents bought it for him and we have to pay them back. If we can pay them back and still save, we will be doing well. Does someone look happy with his new piano?


See how shiny it is? And if you are wondering, the next thing along is a/n harmonium. It is a weird old box and a somewhat acquired taste in music which I now like very much. LOL

In other news....

Yes, Judy, it is a Clap!

But I am not sure it is the best use of this horrendously expensive yarn.

So instead one skein is going towards making Liesel, and here is my version to date:

I think the lace pattern is showing up OK even with the variegated yarn.

I should be watching "Johnny English" with Nathan but there is too much of that excruciating British humour, like in Fawlty Towers. I can barely watch Fawlty Towers and Johnny English just has me running out of the room. Maybe I find it excruciating cos I am a queen of faux pas and can't bear watching other people make idiots of themselves too.

WARNING - Danger Will Robinson! Don't read the next bit cos it is self-indulgent whinging! I am not deleting it cos it tracks where I have been.

Speaking of idiots, I am really truly back on the job lookout now. This job is not where I want to be anymore. I thought I could make a difference, but all I am doing is making myself look like a fool every time I run a training course. It was a much better opportunity than where I was but something's gone horribly wrong, and I fear it is me. I am just not what is needed in that role. I am too direct with people or I beat around the bush too much - I am at fault both ways. I come across too stroppy in emails. I should liaise via my team leader, I should go direct. I am too quiet, I am too in peoples' faces. I am all or nothing. There have been a few problem people along the way, and I am not socially clever enough to deal with them effectively. Ah well. I'll spend my life roleplaying competence in something and trying to find out what that something is. There will always be failures along the way. For the time being though it just makes me want to cry. I've never failed at something that I wanted to be good at or had to be good at before. I'll get over it soon enough. Too soon, knowing me and my inability to hang onto things for very long.

It would be so nice to fulfil even a little of my potential rather than leading a life being mediocre. My life isn't mediocre but I feel I am mediocre. It just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth and a sad feeling in my heart because I know I can be so much more. Currently I am just a round peg squashed into a square hole.

anon!

5 comments:

  1. AAAwwwwwwwww, pretty!!!!!! How many '000 crates/boxes of stash did you have to move to get it in?? Just wondering...

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  2. You'll find what's right for you sooner or later. And I hope for your sake it's sooner. Don't feel too bad about not feeling right for that job. Maybe you're not meant for it and that you have bigger and better things in your future!

    By the way, I love the lacy scarf!

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  3. Hang in there!! Now that you made the decision that this job is not for you, you can be free to move on. This isn;t failure. The failure would be having a job you don't like without recognizing it or making positive change.

    Love your new piano. My neighbor plays classsical piano, and sometimes we can hear him in the evening. And we're Lieseling together!! I agree, this pattern isn't too lacy for a vareigated yarn. It's lovely!

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  4. The job/company doesn't deserve you anyway! They are utter pants like so many big corporates *blows raspberry at them*. Don't let 'em grind you down. You will find something better and that is suited to *you*.

    Kudos on the shiny new piano! I like the look of the crazy harmonium thingummy next door to it :-D

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  5. Anonymous3:09 pm

    Oh, Liesel looks really pretty in variegated. Like I told Jillian, variegated never crossed my mind. It's great!

    - MJ

    ReplyDelete

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