Friday, June 02, 2006

Goals for June

G'day all!

I have set myself some big goals this month.

a) get my yarn and stitchmarker page up and running (or get me onto etsy, but that means I won't be able to flog off my scumbling/freeform yarn there cos it is commercial yarn)
b) clean up the house for a housewarming

and the biggie

c) find me a NEW JOB!

Yessirree, I am officially jobhunting. I've had enough of the old job. I am on performance management because they don't like the way I do about 5% of my job. Y'see I don't please all the people all of the time with my training - I only please most of them. Also I made a political blunder a year ago and that keeps coming back to bite me on the butt because my new boss witnessed it and is now on a witch hunt to point out every other mistake I make. Why do we have to always point out the bad stuff and keep picking at it like some particularly annoying scab? (Oh, btw, I am "too negative" - not as if I am getting a particularly positive role model to base myself on!)

So enough! Why do I have to put up with having my job make me feel about 5cm tall? You would think that I was completely useless at the job, and I am not! I feel that I have been tarred with a brush and I'll never be free of the tar (or I am a dog that has rolled in some muck and is now completely unwelcome). Persona non grata and all that. Before this job sucks me dry, I will disengage from it. They've had 8 years of sucking my soul out of me and they've darn near succeeded. I used to be a fairly happy, smily person who had moderate wit and a bit too much brain. Now at work I am becoming completely ineffectual because I am second-guessing myself all the time - oh I got kicked for doing that so let's do this instead. OUCH! Got kicked for that! Ummm... OK, let's do NOTHING - dang! Kicked for doing nothing. Let's do something - YOWZA! Kicked again! There's only so much kicking you can take before you turn into a quivering lump of lard.

For those who would like to know, my main skills are research and analysis. I pull together info and spit it out in a (usually) coherent fashion. I can produce briefing papers, research reports, training material, presentations (even spit them out without resorting to gobblydegook!). I can even wrk to deadlines and product quality work in those dealines. It might be right on the bell of the deadline but it will get done. I am a trained scientist, I just am a bit out of practice after 8 years in commerce. (!!!! me!!!! Commerce!!!!! Where did it all go wrong?) My specialty is reproductive biology, though ecology and natural resource management is where I'd like to be at. I would love a job where I can be me a bit more, one that matches my goals more - being an infp I need to have my work and my personal goals match up, and in the current role there is an ever widening divide. For the nonce, I would put up with a job that I can be out and out good at - I can drive a wicked desk. I am a brilliant administrator. They just have to not expect me to be a fashion plate cos I just cannot be stuffed with all of that. So no sticking me on the front desk if they want someone to look beautifully groomed. Now if they want someone effectual then I'd be good. I can even unjam photocopiers, mostly. I at least give it a go.

So if you know of any good places to find jobs, let me know! Good online websites, good agencies (based in Melbourne/Australia of course! I really have no urge to move overseas or even interstate at this stage)...

You wanna know my knitting goals? Hmm, well I've joined the trekking along - dang tonight I was going to show off the parcel Chris sent but Yet Another Crisis has bumped that over to tomorrow. I think I'll knit some socks for Nathan from the yarn cos I promised him some socks. Gosh, socks, arm warmers and gloves he'll get this month out of me! Will I have time for anything else, given my main goals? I'd like to knit me another jacket - I've been collecting yarn over the last while. Plus I'd like to do a bit of spinning but that is dependent on my elbow resolving. (Back is better after getting a good cracking yesterday, but we are still not out of the woods, only just not desperately uncomfortable all the time. Thanks for your kind wishes :-)

Finally an apology if I haven't swung by recently or replied to your particularly nice emails. Sitting is a bit hard at the moment (but so is walking and standing, LOL) and I've been in a bit of a grotty temper. Mum always told me if I couldn't think of something good to say I should shut up.

So I'll shut up now. After I've said the bad stuff and gotten some of it out of my system.

anon!

4 comments:

  1. I can definitely sympathize about the job - there've been some low times at my job and I know firsthand how that can run over into the rest of life with crabbiness and such. Good luck on the job hunt!!

    And I'm sending plenty o' healing thoughts your way. :)

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  2. Good for you, in taking control of the situation and finding a solution. I hope you find a new employer that is much more suited to your skills and most especially to your personality!

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  3. Feel better soon, Lynne! I have back issues myself and it's never a good time. Good luck with the job hunt - must be the time of year - my DH is in it too - you need some nice comforting knitting to keep you preoccupied. Oh, and I just opened an Etsy shop myself - only 5 items, but it's a start - have fun!

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