Terrified now! Even a little giddy feeling. In twelve hours I'll probably be prepped for surgery. I am so ready to get rid of this thing but at the same time HOSPITAL! Yikes! It is all very exciting and challenging. I've only had one overnight stay in hospital and that was for my wisdom teeth extraction (and was before I was GF and DF and before my mum died and I was still living at home, so she looked after me). Don't have anyone to look after me now, well apart from DH and my siblings and my MiL, but it isn't quite the same cos most of them don't live with me. And DH is not very good at this stuff - he makes me look like a dedicated nurse! And I am so not a nurse.
I don't know how long I'll be in hospital - it could be overnight or it could be for three days. I have packed everything I can think of that I'll need - clothes, knitting, a book, a couple of quilting and knitting mags, some munchies, one thing in a tin that will be a nice lunch. I am bereft of my rings, one of which hasn't been off my hand for about 20 years now. I feel sorta naked without them. I've still got my wedding ring on.
Apart from the panic stress, I feel pretty good. Legs are still relatively easily wearied, tend to feel very tight and sore and are a bit puffy. I'm now a good 6 kilos up on my weight at the beginning of chemo and nearly 4kg up on my weight at the end of chemo but my torso measurements are pretty much the same. I can still fit into my skinny pants, though with less room than before on the hip! When I measure my legs, they are 2.5cm bigger at least at every measurement. I guess that I can hold a lot of water in my legs! My forearms are also quite sore and don't stretch anywhere near as much as normal (which is to say they are now in the normal range of movement not my usual hypermobile range). I can do stuff all day now though I do get tired and have to have a sit down for a little while along the way. I can't walk more than about 500m in one hit unless I'm distracted or slow (still faster than a lot of people who are out shopping). Walking up hills or ramps is hard - it seems the angle stretches unhappy muscles more. Standing on a ramp hurts too. If I sit down for 30 seconds or a little longer, it seems to reset the muscles and they are happier. Weird. My legs don't obey me well when they have to carry my weight. Don't ask how I was when I had to RUN up the ramp at the railway station the other day - missing the train would've been disastrous as we would've missed our country train. I can't run up hills and thought I was going to have a heart attack. And my fingernails are still gross and likely to get grosser before they get nicer (still might fall off... ack).
Wonder if I'll wake up with "Lump" in my head tomorrow? It has been my ear worm for the day.
Smoke me a kipper, etc, etc but I might be a couple of days before I'm back for breakfast! I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything at all after midnight - thank heavens for an early start! I have to be at the hospital at 7am. *blink blink*