an appeal for calm

G'day all!

Thanks for commiserations. This new chemo sucks! My energy levels are pretty low at the moment, though I am getting some bits and bobs done *by my choice* (and DH is helping out and doing stuff I'd otherwise do).

I need some help. Last time I whinged about DH's behaviour. I probably should not have, and I apologise to him. Why?

People are (in the Australian form) dakking on him. Yes, he needs to find work, I've sat with him this morning as he's gone through the online job forums and quite frankly, there is not much out there for someone with a strong research background but no financial background in computing.

If you step back and think about it, how would you feel if:

a) you lose your job
b) you have to move countries at short notice
c) your wife is diagnosed with cancer
d) you can't find a job
e) you fear you are going to lose your house, and
f) you fear you are going to lose your wife?

He's having huge difficulties finding work. There's not that many jobs in our home city for someone with a PhD in mathematics/computing. His self esteem, which has never been a strong point, is taking an awful battering.

He needs as much support, maybe more support, than I do, and instead he's getting pilloried. I don't want to lose him. When he's not hurting and under horrible stress, he's really a nice guy. He's just struggling really badly and has been for a couple of months. It is my greatest source of stress at the moment. I can deal with my own issues but I can't make his issues better and that hurts more!

So I guess I have to keep hoping things will turn around for him and me...




  1. Poor things. Emailing you.

  2. I feel for both of you. Any one of those individual stressors would test a relationship, but combine them all, and it's understandable that you would start to fray around the edges a bit.
    Try to make a pact to always be kind to each other - that's the glue that holds a good relationship together.
    Love to you both.

  3. Sending hugs to you both. Tough times, for sure. Hope you see big improvements on all fronts very soon.


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