Looks like the big G is having a few issues at present - I can't post under the new Blogger interface and then when I provided feedback as to why I've swapped back to the old version, the Google doc failed. So some lucky engineer somewhere has to sort that out.
Wonder if this post will go through.
I am looking forward to visiting friends in the States. They'll notice a few changes - I'm wrinklier and my hair is somewhat shorter and darker (though given it has not had a chance to sunbleach yet and I've done the chemo thing, it isn't that surprising).
(Rosa laevigatum has beaten all the roses to flowering)
Spring is definitely sprung here - over the last two weeks, the trees have suddenly sprouted beautiful lime green leaves. I love spring green. The wisteria is in flower as are the crab apples.
But I am feeling a bit flat. My story writing has slowed down quite a bit and I feel a bit lonely. Odd that I should miss characters that are like imaginary friends but they have run out of story for the time being. I've still got quite a few notes to transcribe, which is nice.
I'm also feeling a bit old and shabby. Last year I was in emergency mode and coping magnificently with things. Emergency mode is no longer required, instead I am finding the new normal. In finding the new normal, I'm finding that I am vain. I did not know that having long blonde hair was how I thought about myself, though I know I was rather resistant to getting it cut off. Or long eyelashes. Or relatively dark eyebrows. I've never been an amazingly pretty chickie babe, but I'm not particularly ugly either.
Now I have short, dark blonde hair with reddish lights in it. My eyebrows have come in anywhere from invisible blonde to about 20 darker ones and somewhat thinner (of course I have plenty that are growing where I don't want them but I've lost the monobrow ones!). And my eyelashes are piss weak, to be honest. My face seems to have gone insipid. And wrinkles have bloomed like flowers. 9 months without hormones will do that to one it seems.
And I miss being able to pass for a few years younger than my real age.
People tell me that character and cunning grows over the years and can make a woman more attractive than she was at say 20. I should have plenty of character then and even more attractiveness. I've dealt with enough, and I keep dealing with plenty of crap too. But it doesn't mean that I don't miss some things like occasionally turning heads and being valued for something shallow like appearance.
Funny, isn't it that I am learning more about my depths but miss the shallow stuff most. I always knew I had depths. At least noone thinks I am a brainless blonde bimbo any more - I should look on the bright side!
And mostly I do.
BTW, it's DH and my 7th wedding anniversary today. I would love to say seven years of wedded bliss but as in most marriages, it has its ups and downs. I'm glad to have made it through another year :-)
(Pics of sunsets from around here - I go out every day and take pics. It fascinates me, probably dull as dishwater to other people though)